My Mom

[maathoth]

To begin, me and my mom don't get along very well, we never have been close. I have never even been sure that mom loved me or not until last night. My mom is 78 years old now, and has been living with me 5 years. Me and my husband take care of her.
Anyhow, last night she looked at me and said, "You are my only daughter, and I love you Barbara. She looked me in the eyes when she said it, and the feeling between us was something I have never experienced with her before. She truly loved me! I was so glad to know that finally my mom loved me.
To me folks, I have waited an entire liftime for this to happen. To me it is a miracle.
I believe it is because I have been coming to CIP, and folks here are praying for me. I have a true family here, and am convinced that you are my spiritual brothers and sisters. Thank you all for your prayers, because they are having great affect in my life!
God Bless you all in your paths!

Your sister,
Barbara

[delurad]

You touched my heart, Barbara.  I am so happy that your mom finally expressed her love for you and that you so willingly accepted it.  I had a precious mom, but I never really felt that my father loved me.  I know he's in heaven and I will get a chance to be loved as he wasn't able to love me on earth. I'm looking forward to that day.  Love and prayers, Dee.

[debomama52]

Oh, Barbara, that is so wonderful!!  Praise the Lord!!  I am so very happy for you, that you have felt your mother's love!  I too was blessed by very loving parents Dee, and it is sad to me that someone has never known a mothers love.

[tervana1]

What a blessing Barbara..   I'm sure she has loved you all your life but just unable to show it. Of course I don't know your history with your mom and it's something that doesn't even need to be dwelled upon. It's the here and now that matters. What a gift God has given you both!

love,
terri 

[maathoth]

Hi Dee,

  My mom was always a hard woman. She raised us 4 children, from the age of the youngest being only 8 yrs old. I know she had a hard life, and did what I probably could have never done. So I have been hanging in there to see what would happen.
  When mom got old enough, and she finally had to live with one of us kids, she went with my brother Mark first. She stayed only a year there. I prayed that God would send her here, so we could reconcile our differences. I am so glad now that she came here!
  The Lord is good, and it is true that sometimes our parents can't show the love they have for us. I know you will see your father in heaven Dee. And I know he loves you Dee. The Lord is good!

God's Blessings,
Barbara

[maathoth]

Hi Deb,

  Thank you for rejoicing with me! It is a great thing to experience a mother's love. Now I know what it is like. It is fine, the wait was worth it!

God's Blessings,
Barbara

[maathoth]

Hi Terri,

  Thanks for rejoicing with me Terri! You are right, the here and now does matter. But the past must be confronted in order to plan a better future, in some cases; this being one of them.
  You see, my sister, Antoinette, committed suicide when she was 28 yrs old. She was my mother's baby. So that made this all the much harder to deal with, for her. That is why she said she had only one daughter. I think she realized I hung in there with her, and so I am now finally recognized by her. She has reasoned it out in her mind, but more importantly, in her heart. Something I thought she would never come to grips with.
  I, also miss my sister, terribly. As the years pass, folks say it gets easier. It doesn't, not for this situation. I miss her, and I always will. I have no other sisters, and when I go to the family reunion each year, I watch my two cousins, Kathleen and Diane, who are sisters, and Maureen and Karen, who are sisters. I so much want my sister, and she just isnt' here.
  I believe the Lord has led me here to receive sisters in the Lord, so that I may experience the love of a sister again, and I am finding that now I have many sisters here. LOL It is a great feeling to converse and to share with a sister again! The Lord Jesus has truly blessed me, and I am so grateful for the blessings I am receiving!
  I love you Terri, and all my sisters and brothers here. This is a great home for me! It truly is...

God's Blessings,
Barbara

[tervana1]

You are absolutely right! You do have sisters here. Isn't it a wonderful feeling! I don't know how I would get through the day without communicating with my family here. We are all so much a part of each others lives. I don't know the pain you go through with the death of your sister. Your mothers pain must have been, and still is something only God can heal. Your's too. As you said somethings you just don't get over. But God has a big box of band-aids. He can heal even the deepest pain. I just want to hug your mom. She must have lived her life in torment over what happened. Probably the reason she couldn't share her love with you. If she had and something happened to you then in her mind it would have unbearable. Just thinking ouloud sis. I believe in confronting situations too. We just need to be careful that they are worth the price when we do. Confronting can also bring conflict. Not just to the ones we confront but to our peace of mind. Again...I'm so happy for you and your mom. At her age every moment counts.

love ya,
terri

[maathoth]

Hi Terri,

  Confronting these kinds of situations, is like confronting a two-edged sword. On one hand you are confronting the unthinkable, and on the other hand, the situation must be confronted in order to move forward.
  Deaths in a family are situations that are really never forgotten. We all live with that, especially if they are close to us.
  The hardest time of year is now. Antoinette killed herself on December 31; assuring she wouldn't see the new year to come. So this time of year is hardest on me and my family.
  But you are right. God is healing the wounds, and his favor is with us, now. I feel like now that mom has been touched by Jesus, so will we all heal.
  It was a big band aid God used this time! LOL He is soooo great!!!
  You are also right about us being family here. This really is the best Christian forum I have ever been a part of, and I am here to stay, finally; home.
  I love you Terri!!! God Bless you lady in all that you do. Thanks for being there...

Barbara

[pauline1028]

BARBARA, YOU ARE TRULY BLESSED!!!
MY HEART IS SO FULL OF JOY FOR YOU.
PRAISE THE LORD !!!!!!

[maathoth]

Hi Pauline,

  Thank you for sharing the joy with me Pauline. I love you sister...God Bless you!

Barbara

 

[cometsweep32]

Barbara,
How wonderful for you to finally know that your mother loves you.  As was stated above, I'm sure she always loved you but the pain of the loss of your sister just wouldn't allow your mother to show it.  I am so sorry for your loss but am celebrating with you over this wondeful event of knowing that you are loved.  We all love you here as well.  God Bless You hun!

your sister in Christ,
Christie

[Ljclaire]

Hello Barbara, My Mom is your moms age.  She not only never told us she loved us but she said she hated us and wished we were never born most of my life.  I have a sister named Nancy.  She has always been her pet.  I always wanted the love she showed Nancy but never got it not even until now.  Several weeks ago I told her it is ok, I forgive you for all the hateful things you ever said to me. My Father always loved me and for that I am grateful.  Mom is sort of losing it these days with Alzheimer kicking in. But she is easing up a bit now too.  I pray for her and that she will truly be set free from all the past.  I know the feeling you must feel having her to say Ilove you to you and be sincere. 

Moms are great and no one can ever take their place, so I rejoice in your miracle my dear and I thank God that he gives us the desires of our heart.  I know this means so much to you and what a wonderful testimony of Gods love to you.  Be blessed and have a wonderful Holiday season with your family.

Love, laurie

[CanuckLynn]

Oh Barbara!!!   

I just want to give you a great big hug!  What joy to have your mother tell you of her love for you while she still had the chance to do so!  So many people miss opportunities to 'make things right' and the chance is taken away from them.  I would have loved to have been there to see the look on your face Barbara, and your reaction!  Praise God that you have peace in the knowledge of your mother's love for you!  I'm so happy for you...for both of you!!

love you,
Georgie

[maathoth]

Hi Christie,

  Thank you for being here, and for your love Christie. It is good to be alive, and praise God!

Love your sister,
Barbara

[maathoth]

Hi Laurie,

  I am sorry to hear that you are still waiting for the love to be shown by your mom. My mom also has Alzheimers and it took about 6 years for her to mellow out. She has been slowly changing, and for the good. She isn't near as mean as she was, and is more thoughtful of my feelings than she was. It is a very slow process of change.
  There were incidents that took place even before my sister Antoinette died. It has been an ongoing thing all my life with mom. So, like you, I have prayed and hoped for this day.
  I pray for you Laurie, that your mom is blessed by Jesus to 'see' the truth about the things she has needed to 'see'. I pray that her heart is changed from being bitter and cold about things, to being able to accept things, and to put them into place properly, by God's will.
  I pray that God lightens your burden and strengthens you on your path, homeward.
  Have a wonderful and Blessed Holiday Season, Laurie! I love you sister...

Barbara

[maathoth]

Hi Georgie,

  Thank you for being there, my sister. I love you Georgie! God Bless you in all that you do, lady!

Barbara

[BaldEagle4Christ]

Hi there Barb,
I want too say this had touched my heart as well as every one else.
And every one storie especially Laurie.
I am so sorry Laurie and yes Barb your sister too.
Wow we all go through some thing in Life don't we?
We all have too go through it,and it takes God too get us through these aweful hard times.

You know,
Some times we all think no one has it worse then i,But we all go through it.
That is why we need God,anbd other belivers who will stand bye our side and encourage one of us.
I am so sorry we all go through it,but some time it makes us stronger.
I am glad i came here....And one thing for sure,he will never give you to much too handle.                     
Jesus Loves you,and so do each and every one of us.
Brother in Christ,
Kenny

[Tara5684]

Barbara, I know it is hard for a mother to act like she doesn't love you. I went through it with my mother for 24 years of my short 25 years of life. I stood up to her and plain out told her one day that I was never her baby and would never be her baby and that I loved her anyway weather she ever loved me like she loved my brother. Once I told her that I still loved her no matter what she ever said or done to me she changed her wicked ways and treats me with respect and treats me like a 25 year old instead of a 5 year old she never wanted. Since your mother has finally admitted that she does love you, she will change her ways slowly but surely...you just gotta give it time and let her realize what she has said for all these years and let her get her grips on what she has in hold for her for the rest of her life.
Your Sister In Christ,
Tara