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My Testimony

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GentleOne1950
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« on: August 13, 2007, 10:09:49 am »

Well it is very hard to put in words my life but I will try.  Please be patient with me.
First I do not remember early years up to age 11, and I do not question this as I know that God will, in His time help me to remember.  My parents broke up when I was 13 and my Mom just left without telling anyone where she was going.  I was placed in Foster home as my Dad could not keep my nor my Brother.  In the second Foster Home the gentleman there was kind of free with his hands and liked to buy me underthings and we fought so much that I ran away, barefoot and went to my Dad'shouse, where at this time he was already living with another lady and my grammy was there too and they said I could stay. I was 14 at the time, and I had already left school. I felt so lost without my Mom and I missed her terribly especially in my early teens when a girl just needed her Momma. At age 15 she got in contact with us and I was able to see her. See she left with another man.  I met with her, with my dad and for days I just cried.  Then she wanted me to come live with her and my Dad wanted me to stay there.  I could not make the decision.  I went my own way and went back to school, had a boyfriend and it seemed everything I tried to do iin my life at that point did not work out for me and people always looked down on me because we were very poor. so I ended up leaving Montreal andmoved to Ottawa where my Momma was.  I had a child out of wedlock as well.  Through my years from there it was all downhill for me.  I was married 2 times and had a son, James, whom I adore.  He is now 34 and a singer and a security guard.  I had so many run ins with the devil everywhere I turned for years to the point of nasty things happening in our home.  My life felt terrible and it did not matter where I turned there were always roadblocks or people sneering at me.  My last marriage to Mike was so terrible with abuse of all kinds, physically, mentally and sexually but I hung in there determined to make it work out.  He had a gambling problem that completely broke us and one day he just did not come back for days and left me in our country home with no power, car or anything.  I broke at that pont in my life and cried and prayed so hard for God to help me.  I made a decision right then and there to leave and called my Momma over.  Before Mike left he broke a lot of things in our home, including my heart for I was a mess.  I took his big screen TV and sold it and found an apartment run by a Christian lady and she rented to me straight away.  I left with my little dog, Maggie and my clothes.  I had nothing but an empty apartment.  The landlady got a couch for me that first night.  I was so so lonely and didnt know what to do.  My life through the years was filled with sin in tyring to find love and I realized that I would not find the kind of love that I missed growing up.
That night I went to the window and I prayed and talked to God.  I was not saved but always Believed in something, never quite sure of what.  I cried to Him, I broke before Him and cried some more.  I felt unloved, unwanted and I wanted to die because I felt such a failure.  I had 2 children that I raised with love and that's what I hung on to.  Who would ever want someone with so much sin in their life, someone who felt so worthless.I continued to talk with God and finally I was so exhausted and I went over to the couch and fell asleep, also afraid of being alone.  That night while sleeping I had a dream. In my dream I was standing on the street and I had a needle in my arm and a voice told me when the red line from the needle reaches to the wrist I would die.  wow it freaked med right out and I started running to find my Mom. As I ran the line went faster and finally I knew I was dying. My last words in my dream were...I love you Jesus.  I was then in a building, looked like a medical building of sorts and I knew people were talking to me but I could not see them. They were kind people filled with love in their voices.  I was told I was to have surgery on my chest and when I awake I would not remeber anything from my former life and I would not even look like I look.  At that point I woke up and was shaking so bad.  I ran to the washroom and looked in the mirror and I was still me, little did I know what it meant at the time.
The apartment where I lived there was a church right in front by the way and in the back there was a little donut place called Donut Heaven.  Imagine that!  I went there for a coffee in the morning after no sleep after that dream and in there I saw someone familiar that I used to see in another little restaurent.  He would always be reading.  I said hello and he said come sit down and have coffee.  He asked me about my marriage and I told him the story, then I began to tell him about my dream.  He actually laughed at me and I got upset with him.  He asked me if I would like to go to Church with him the next day and I said yes.  Well next morning in my grubbies cause I only brough little with me I walked into the church.  The Pastor was real nice and most of the stuff he spoke about seemed like it was meant for me.  He did an altar call and looked right at me.  I was crying by then but I did not rise.  The music was so mellow and he did another altar call and Vic who brought me to the church looked at me and up I went to the front, in front of strangers and knelt down and sobbed my heart out and gave myself heart and soul to the Lord.  I was so exhausted by then and so wore out but my heart felt so light.  For days I cried, I walked I prayed and the burdens lifted, the son shone all around me and I felt like I was loved, really loved for the first time in my life. Yes I had my chest surgery alright and yes I was totally a changed person and I felt in my heart that was what my dream was all about.  I contiued to read the Bible and pray for so many people because God put the burden of others on my heart as well.  His gift to me.  I alwys knew when someone needed prayer and would cry for days knowing someone needed the Lord.  I felt their hurt, even to strangers I would pass in the street.  it was overwhelming at times and it still continues for me.  I was baptized again in that church with my family there and friends and on that day of Baptism I was on cloud nine or higher.  Still I was under attack so much that the church had to come to my home.  Fear at times set in with these attacks but I would continue to pray and rebuke and even get mad at these demons that haunted me.  They could not get me.  One day I went into my bedroom and really yelled at them and told them I Love Jesus, you have no business here tormenting me because where Jesus Love lives you cannot have me and it stopped for a time.  To this day I struggle and wrestle with things but I am not afraid because I am never alone now.  yes there are still things I have to change but God will help me with this.  I was ordained in 1996 as well and lately I have felt kind of lost because my little Dog Maggie who by the way was 25 years of age passed and I was and still am devastated with this loss and asked God to guide me where he needs me to be.  I felt I knew what He would say but tried not to go before Him as I did once and man does He sit you down when you do that!!!!  Pray Barb its what is in your heart.  Pray for others bring them unto me.  This is what I felt God was saying to me and then I came back in here to this Beautiful Ministry and really feel at Home here because I feel the love you all share.  My life has its ups and downs as we all do and there is not a day that goes by that I do not ask the Lord for forgiveness.  My son is saved, my firstborn is now saved, and my 2 sisters are now saved in Montreal.  I am trying to be a person that God respects and trying to be as He would like me to be and I am trying to be myself as He wishes me to be.  Through years of heartache and lonliness and loss and pain and also illness I still feel His Presnece every day and I still feel His Peace at times when I need Him the most and that is everyday.  I also have a wonderful Miracle to share with you all and I will post it soon.  God Bless all of you and know you are never ever alone for He is always with you.  Thanks for listening to my story as there is so much of it that I could go on for days lol. I have learned to Fogive and that Forgiveness went directly to my Mom and we are very close now.  I have learned to love without question when I helpothers around me and I have learned not to forget but how to deal with it with God's help.  Just know that when I pray for you it comes from the depths of my heart and soul as God wished it to be.
Your Sister In Christ
Barb
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Sister Barbara Flemming
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For We Walk By Faith Not By Sight
2 Corinthians 5:  Verse 7

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cometsweep32
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« Reply #1 on: August 13, 2007, 10:30:06 am »

Dearest Barb,

What a great testimony!  God truly worked miracles with you.  I am still kind of new to the whole being reborn and saved thing yet.  I do not spend as much time with the Lord as I should.  I am trying to find a church.  There is one up the road from where I live but I am afraid to talk to anyone.  I am very shy and apprehensive around people.  I have an anxiety problem and mentall ilness that keeps from working.  I am basically a shut in and I cannot drive due to Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, this started when I was in a car accident on a major highway.  I feel so at home here and am not afraid to talk with people in CIP.  It has been a real God send.  It is great to meet you.  God Bless You.

You're sister,
Christie
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GentleOne1950
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« Reply #2 on: August 13, 2007, 10:57:06 am »

Lord be with Sis Christie and give her some sweet sweet love this day.  May she feel your presence all around her Lord Jesus as she goes through her day and may You be her voice Lord Jesus when shyness overcomes her.  I pray Lord that this New Church she is speaking about will welcome her with open arms and love from their hearts.  I pray for her health Dear Lord for You know all there is to know about her and I pray that on those ikky days Lord Jesus it is Your Hand that will hold hers.Lord help us all to reach out to one another today and every day, becasue you have given to us this priveledge of being here and praying together as One Family.  You have brought us all together here for a reason Lord Jesus and have given to all of us Precious gifts from Your heart.  May You shine Your Love and Light up Sister Christie today Lord that she will be sooverwhelmed in Your Spirit.  Amen

God Bless You Sis and thank you for reading my testimony.
Sis Barb
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Sister Barbara Flemming
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For We Walk By Faith Not By Sight
2 Corinthians 5:  Verse 7
BaldEagle4Christ
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« Reply #3 on: August 13, 2007, 03:41:43 pm »

(((Barb)))
Isn't it amazing what God does in our Life and how he does it?With all of these testimoines i read Is Just remarkable,because at the end of the rain bow is a pot of gold(freedom )God has and still is blessing too us all.We may not know what or why,but God knows whats bets for oiur Life.
Praise God your out of this all and That your here with this Great family and as well as your's.
It shows how strong we all get at the end and we are all glad too share our testimonie that can help save some one Live today and what we shared will give others hope Amen.
Barb It is an honor toohave you as well as every one here as a family in Christ.And one day we will al meet agsain in person,either here,or in heaven glory.
Love in Christ,
Kenny
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GentleOne1950
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« Reply #4 on: August 13, 2007, 03:59:48 pm »

Brother Ken you have made me cry.  Tears of happiness of course and I thank you for your reply to my testimony and I am so looking forward to my time that I spend and share in here with all of you.  He sure does lead us right where He wants us to be and He sure has His reason.  I get so amazed when this happens and I try so hard to keep going and responding to all of the other prayer needs I receive each day but for me this is still a baby step so to speak.  I know He has plans, great plans for all of us and I am honored to serve him.  Have a Blessed evening with the Lord's Presence allaround you.
God Bless

Sis Barb
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Sister Barbara Flemming
gentle.hearts@sympatico.ca

For We Walk By Faith Not By Sight
2 Corinthians 5:  Verse 7
Cuddlz42
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« Reply #5 on: August 14, 2007, 03:34:04 am »

(((((Barb))))))

Even after ALL you had been through in life, when you dedicated your life to the lord, you were able to truely forgive those that had hurt you AND, you are able to love and be loved!!!
Isn't God so AWESOME!!!

Hun thank you soooo much for sharing your testimony here with us!!!
It will speak to many !!!

Lots of love , hugs and prayers ((sis))
Deb
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« Reply #6 on: August 18, 2007, 09:31:52 am »

Thank-you Barb for sharing your testimony!  Isn't it amazing that when we come to Jesus and lay our burdens at His feet, the work He does in our lives?  CIP is blessed to have you with us!  You have endured through many trials and have emerged victorious with God at the head of your life, finding the love you so need in life!  You are also fortunate to have a son that checks up on you several times a day!  You have so much love in your life dear Sister, and I pray that you will find more as you get to know others here.  Continue to use your gift for praying for others and you will feel God moving ever closer to you as He gives You a complete and full life!  God is blessing us dear Sister! 

God bless you,
In Christ's love,
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« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2007, 03:41:20 pm »

Exuse me Barb while I get another box of kleenex.  Lol  what a gripping testimony.  God knew exactly what he was doing when he put your landlady and the man in the donut shop in your life.  That is what is so awesome about God.  Just when we think we're about to lose it and give up and in to the enemy, Jesus does His thing.  I hope to speak with you again as I am new here and just now getting my bearings.  God bless you and yours.

Your friend in Christ,   Terri
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TABBYCATMELVIN
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« Reply #8 on: October 12, 2007, 07:54:44 pm »

WOW THIS IS A VERY GRIPPING TESTIMONIE.  I NEED A NEW BOX OF KLEENEX AS WELL.  THANK YOU FOR POSTING THIS.  YOUR STORY REMINDS ME THAT I'M NEVER ALONE AND NEVER WILL BE FOR HE IS ALWAYS BY MY SIDE. 


YOUR SISTER IN CHRIST, TABITHA
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We all need to remember to lift each other up in prayer daily.  We also need to remember that there is no problem big or small that God can't take care off.  Wejust have to hand them over to him. 
Love from your sister in Christ, Tabitha
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« Reply #9 on: January 14, 2008, 11:33:26 pm »

hi Barb, my name is Debbie, (daedra52) I read your testimonie, and I was tuched. I though I was reading my own life. You have gone through a lot of the same things that I have. I'm new here and this is my first writing. I just want to say Jesus loves you. He is always there for you. I to pray from the bottom of my heart, and i'll be praying for you. I'm shy and not much at writing but I needed to write to you. My heart is with you      Lovingly in Christ   Debbie
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« Reply #10 on: May 23, 2008, 10:31:39 pm »

thanks for sharing testimony!!
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